sunglasses and advil.

(Source: weheartit.com, via insomniaticthoughts)

It’s only wednesday and so far this week has been mentally, physically and emotionally draining.

For ages, I moaned about working at McVities, about how much I hated the job as well as how we were treated by the agency but 3 days into my new job and I’ve realised how much I took for granted. Yes I hated those things and more about working there. But I’ll never work in the same place as Craig again, i’ll never be in the place we met and it’s unlikely we will ever work the same shift patterns again. We are used to spending mornings together on lates and having tea together at work then having breakfast together on earlies and spending the evening together. Now, when he’s on earlies, we will get the evening together but on lates we will get about an hour a day together, like this week, which has been really hard and I miss him so much.

I won’t be able to nip home and see Millie and my Nanna on my breaks. I’ll never get a proper lie in on a weekday unless I book the day off and I’ll always have to be in bed by a certain time feeling pressured to get to sleep. I’ll probably always have to drive to work which means I’ll have to be up even earlier and home even later. I miss the 5 minute walk to work and back. I’ll never be able to switch off at work, from now on I have to use my brain all the time every day. For a long time, I won’t be able to work in an environment I am completely comfortable in, with people that I know well, doing a job that I know inside out. I’ll always have to wear an uncomfortable uniform and not my own clothes. I’ll never have a cancelled shift again.

So whilst I have a brilliant opportunity in my new job, I can’t help but think about all the things that I am missing out on too. I hope it gets better.

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